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23 Hilariously Unbreakable Quotes from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

23 Hilariously Unbreakable Quotes from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

If you haven’t binged the entire first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix yet, what are you even doing with your life? The show’s writing will leave you in stitches.

Here are 23 hilariously unbreakable quotes from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt:

1. “I’m pretty but tough like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown.”


source / Netflix

2. “Hashbrown, no filter.”


source / Netflix

3. “I’ll be here with my kissing hole.”


source / Netflix

4. “Troll the respawn, Jeremy.”


source / Netflix




5. “Going back to school like a little red head, Rodney Dangerfield.”


source / Netflix

6. “Can’t the world be my noodles and butter.”


source / Netflix

7. “So far all I’ve learned is that the Olsen twins are actually four people.”


source / Netflix

8. “Is that a dolphin with a bow on it?!”


source / Netflix

9. “Hello, sugar balls…”


source / Netflix

10. “Well what would the Care Bears say about how you show it?”


source / Netflix

11. “I’m pretty good friends with the pregnant raccoon who lives in there.”


source / Netflix

12. “The new tapes are here! Tape day!”


source / Netflix

13. “Turn your resistance all the way up to ‘Ghandi’.”


source / Netflix

14. “That was like listening to a mirror.”


source / Netflix

15. “Look at yourself, girlfrienemy.”


source / Netflix

16. “I’m gonna make waffles outta him.”


source / Netflix

17. “Stop the presses. My paninis can wait.”


source / Netflix

18. “Aretha! The dictionary!”


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19. “Last one to the bunker is a mother of whores!”


source / Netflix

20. “I trusted you, TV. You’ve seen me naked.”


source / Netflix

21. “Last time I did that I found a finger under it.”


source / Netflix

22. “A wolf helped me beat up a bunch of teenagers.”


source / Netflix

23. “I took that shoe and made lemonade out of it.”


source / Netflix

And just because. Here’s Jon Hamm dry humping an ottoman.


 
The Kimmy Schmidt of YouTube
Every Wednesday I “answer” questions about stuff like I’ve been trapped in a bunker for 15 years.

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