Twenty pounds.

Twenty pounds.

This is what happens when you choose not to lock your child in the closet with a cell phone and a twenty while you take a quick shower for an interview.

Mothers everywhere, learn from me. Lock your children in a room with padded walls while you attempt to improve your personal hygiene.

For the love of everything holy, heed this advice, if nothing else.

By all means, however, if you’d like to experience what your kitchen, dining room, and half of your living room might look like with twenty pounds of flour strewn about, knock yourself out. Just know that your knees will hurt from vacuuming the grout for an hour.

And flour will still be everywhere.

Ahh, children. What a breath of fresh air.