Time to tip the scale.

Time to tip the scale.

A post about weight. And hating weight. Nay, loathing weight.

Specifically weight gain.

I’ve always been rail thin. Always. Twiggy was a nickname until about four years ago when I got pregnant with Nugget.

I only gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy and managed to lose a significant amount of that weight between birthing the child and ten days of breastfeeding. But now, things have changed.

I made the conscious decision, with the help of an emotional intervention by Husfriend and my family, four months ago to do something significant to help with my “mood swings”. Abilify, a bi-polar medication was the resulting solution.

Along with the newfound attention to my mental health and that tiny blue pill, I’ve managed to add two inches to my waistline and a few extra chins to my neck. This? Is not good for that mental health I’m working so hard to tend.

I’m not overweight by any stretch. In fact, I’m now the average weight for my towering height of 5’10”. But…BUT…it’s just not the body I’ve always had. The skin I’m so used to living in has disappeared.

In fighting off a larger demon, I’ve been introduced to a new, more terrifying demon…self-esteem. I’ve always been a confident person, outgoing, quirky, the “fun” one, but lately, because of the way I look, I’ve lost my will to bask in the personality that better defined me than my pant size.

So I’m going to do something about it. With a significant amount of accountability, I’m setting a goal to tip the scale in the other direction. To take back control of my physical health while addressing my ugly mental health. Morgan inspired me with her post about her 100 pound weight loss as a result of depression. I don’t want to lose the weight by acting on the overwhelming urge I’ve felt to swear off eating until I lose the ell-bees. Morgan’s experience has inspired me to use my unhappiness as a motivator to do it the healthy way. It’s going to be hard and I’m going to need you guys to take good care to yell at me to eat something because, lately, I just haven’t been and it hurts. Hard.

My biggest fear? Buying a scale (no I don’t own one and never have). I’m terrified I will begin to have one of those obsessive relationships with the most obnoxious inanimate objects in a given person’s household. A daily battle royale if you will. Let’s not even mention the war to be inevitably waged during The Shed every month. Sheesh.

So. Will you accept my challenge. To keep me in line and make me do this whole weight loss thing the right way?

I need you.