Watch it Tiesto, our house beats your house, hands down.

Watch it Tiesto, our house beats your house, hands down.

I should have a headache.

No, I should have a splitting migraine that could very well land me in a mental institution.

Instead, I have the sights and sounds of a home where a toddler dwells. Did I mention the headache?

Between the circa early 90s Casio keyboard whose beats tempo has been jacked up on what appears to be a level pleasing only to a tweaker, a completely age-inappropriate tee-ball toy exclaiming the double you just "got" after the ball flew around the post approximately forty-seven times, and the Wow Wow Wubbzy theme song on constant repeat (thank you Cox OnDemand...really...), I'm surprised I haven't the need to check in somewhere that requires slippers and crack flaunting gowns as the only means of acceptable attire.

At least in this house, Nugget is safe from being beat up by girls. Tempe Marketplace Splash Pad? Now there's a different story...