It's like Wonka's factory, 'cept I just wanna drop kick all the Oompa-Loompas.

It's like Wonka's factory, 'cept I just wanna drop kick all the Oompa-Loompas.

There is an epidemic that, I have unfortunately just realized, has infected my life. And not so much in the good kind of way where I wake up to bluebirds singing outside of my window and a puppy with a big red bow on its head is following behind a man servant graciously delivering my breakfast in bed.

"Friendship". The quotations speak volumes.

I've made it a habit to create excuses for why people just don't care to hang. "We live too far away." "I have a kid now." "I'm just not a single lady anymore." "I don't see them at work everyday like I used to."

They were all a pathetic illusion masterminded by my, well, mind, neurosis included. Except, lately, I've discovered that it really is not so much me as it is them. If I'm invited, I show up. If I'm asked, I answer. If I'm needed, I'm there. If I'm not needed, I see if there's the slightest possibility that I could be needed in some way or another.

When the tables are turned. Forget about.

Now I know, because I've heard it A LOT from the defenders lately, that there are "sucky people everywhere." This I firmly believe. Shitbags exist no matter where you live. But, BUT (now, that's a big but people and we all know I don't have one of those things...period) personally knowing upwards of THIRTY shitbags makes for poor odds on the defending turf. Really poor odds actually.

I've grown up here. All through school and now coming up on six years post school. I was very social all growing up. Parties, sleepovers, extracurricular activities. Life was good, fun, filled with friendship and fairies skipping merrily from tulip to tulip as sprites played pan flutes.

Then, something happened, like a big force field developed around me that warned approaching people, "Don't even think that I would want anything to do with a reciprocated social life now that these days are over! Seriously, back off, or I will cut you with this homemade shiv!"

I lived behind the excuses, and then one day it smacked me upside the face like a sack of rusty nails. "Woman, you haven't changed, they haven't changed, now you just, well, know."

To have offers from my readers who transitioned quickly into friends, to fly out for a weekend girl's night, but not have even a single person that wants to grab a drink, hit the stores, check out a movie, come to your party, that blows the smoke of "we need to get together more often" up your ass any off chance they do bump into you, that's just bad people. And I'm done with it.

Now I don't want your defense or an "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend, I've just been busy/sick/{insert lame excuse}" I want you to know that I'm just plain over it. I'm done trying to vie for something that is obviously not a shared desire. I'm done depending on you for something you say you're willing to bring to the table, but always fail to. At this point, we're all adults. I don't need to spend my time wondering, when I already know. You suck, and I'm done. If you get sorely offended by this, then you're guilty of it. You are most likely the person I've been there for who needed someone through a tough time, or needed people to come to something to help them qualify for something else, or wanted free tickets to something, or there just really wasn't anything better to do, so, I guess since I text you that one time like 2 weeks ago, I'll probably be able to hang with you.

I'm ready to leave. I'm ready to get out of Arizona where the douchebaggery runs high, and the fallacy boggles me. To head places where at least if I'm lonely and bored, it's because I don't know anyone and not that I know a bunch of lame-a-zoids. I feel better. I feel better having been honest, unlike so many I "know".

Be honest. Try it out. I dare you.