Battle Royale: Coke vs Diet Coke

Battle Royale: Coke vs Diet Coke

Coke is disgusting. Diet Coke is delicious.

This battle is an easy win for Diet Coke. Especially when you look at things that are the same when you compare them (or whatever literary terminology is used for these sorts of things. metaphors? similes? onomatopoeia?) like:

Coke is to Diet Coke, as Hungarian wombat urine is to the sweet nectar of life.

or...

Coke is to Diet Coke, as Richard Simmons' work-out shorts are to Brad Pitt's nut-huggers.

or...

Coke is to Diet Coke, as anorexic vampires are to tangible real-life, grown-up, sexy men.

or...

Coke is to Diet Coke, as that other Corey who went to Funkytown on drugs is to Corey Feldman. (too soon?)

Coke may have been "the original", but at the tastebud party in my mouth, it's the second-rate wannabe to the sparkly rockstar, humbly, nay, graciously, known as Sir Diet Coke.