How to bake: The Hard Way

How to bake: The Hard Way

When receiving my potluck assignment for Turkey Day from my mother, I volunteered to bring "my dish" (Sweet Tater Casserole) along with a new recipe for Pumpkin Cream Cupcakes I'd found while perusing a holiday magazine at my sister's house.

Before using my brain, I came to the harsh reality that I had just offered my cupcake skills without the recollection that, in the whirlwind of this, my regulation size cupcake pans were no longer in my possession. Do I think they will be again?

I sure as hell hope so. If not...well...Dear Santa...

And yes, it has all been so catastrophically blown out of proportion, that "swinging by" to pickup something that is respectively mine is not an option.

I won't go getting ahead of myself here for the sake of being chronological, but be prepared to burst a blood vessel in your forehead from laughter at what I did have at my disposal. I am lazy so running out to the store (for the THIRD time last night) to pick up new cupcake pans was not an option either. Lazy.

Since I was making a batch of these num-nums for the family to enjoy, I figured why not double the sucker for Husfriend to score some brownie points at the ole workplace. Plus, well, they've sent him home with requests in the past. I'm always down for a good stroking of the ego. The past couple weeks could qualify for a one-hour Swedish massaging of the ego. I'll take what I can get.

I started by doing a predictable photo shoot of the ingredients, minus the cream cheese which totally makes up the "Cream" part of the whole damn recipe.

Cut me some slack. I had just discovered the "Widescreen" feature on Husfriend's camera. My mind was in a flurry of make-do camera bliss alright?!

I got these absolutely adorable cupcake liners from smeeks for presentation sake.

Then, in all my greasy glory, Husfriend snapped an action shot for the sake of the blog. Before my innocent smile and slight head tilt, I was barking at him, "Now the flash isn't set to go off so make sure you hold the camera still so it's not blurry. *snap* Is it blurry?!" I am so very pleasant.

Please applaud "skinny arm", "chin jut", and "suck in and don't breathe". 

I'm a professional photo poser. 

Excuse "makeup free" and "insomnia eye bags".

After mixing all of the tastiest smelling cake batter ingredients in my Halloween candy bowl, I started the 2+ hour baking process. Firstly, the Halloween candy bowl was the largest bowl that could hold the crap ton of mixes, eggs, water, oil, and pumpkin that doubling the recipe required. Secondly, remember how I mentioned I wasn't properly equipped for baking six dozen cupcakes in a timely manner? see: Lazy Ass.

Yes, you are seeing this right. I used my in-case-there-is-a-bit-more-than-one-dozen pans. I keep my little six cup guys handy on the off chance the recipe that yields 12 turns out to yield 16. Damn, I should have been a boy scout. So prepared.

Each dozen took twenty minutes to bake so 20 minutes x 4 dozen + (1 dozen + 11 cupcakes worth of extra batter) = >2 hours of baking time alone.

Being the genius planner aheader I am, I started this daunting task at, oh, I dunno, 8:30pm. Again, because I am a genius. Say it with me kids...G-e-n-i-u-s. Gold stars and otter pops for everyone. For heaven's sake, don't drip on my carpet!!

Lucky enough for me, So You Think You Can Dance was my meantime entertainment between each dozen. Goodnight I still can't even believe I baked one dozen cupcakes at a time.

These two are, hands down, my favorite couple of the season. Hate me all you want, but Ryan is NOT attractive and Ashleigh bugs the shit out of me. It is that intensely serious. I said shit. P.S. Someone needs to smack her parents with an idiot stick. Who spells Ashley that way?! Gag, gag, vomit.

When the last timer went off for the final eleven cupcakes, I tell you I was ecstatic. They cooled. I iced. We nibbled. I packaged. We slept. Oh joy over all other joys. I. Was. Finished.

Not the most pleasing to the eye, but boy oh boy do the taste buds yearn for these puppies. I cannot wait to share what's left bring these to my mom's tomorrow.