Surprisingly enough, I haven't cried...yet.

Surprisingly enough, I haven't cried...yet.

I dozed off on the couch last night trying to muster up the energy and creativity it takes to build a website. I was painfully unsuccessful. I've chosen to recruit a Mac owner for assistance. I just have to. I don't know how much of a pain in the ass it's going to be not owning one of my own and stumbling upon some startling revelation for the site with no means of doing it. Right then. Right there. For now, I'll manage.

You know that feeling when you're half awake and still half in la-la land? Where you are dream drooling over the delicious Cookie Crisp cereal swimming in a pool of ice cold milk on your spoon, destined for your mouth? It's all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns until you get your blissful butt off the couch only to find the empty box of Cookie Crisp cereal staring at you on the counter top in the kitchen. Burning a pain filled hole in your soul with its cruel mockery. As if it is sitting there saying, "Bet you wish you'd woken up when your alarm went off at 7, woman."

I was then reduced to eat normal size, baked in my own oven oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a diet coke instead of the postage stamp sized cuties I was longing for. Woe. Woe is me.

I still haven't cried today though. So far, today is going to go down in history as successful. Granted, it's only 11:41am.

I have hip hop tonight with Calli that will hopefully lift my spirits back up to the highest of highs. It's nice to take a trip down to Mesa twice a week. All alone. I get that 30 minutes to reflect on everything I want so badly to do with our lives.

Speaking of life-changing meditation sessions on the US-60, I'm on a hunt to find out if there's a treatable condition related to depression before conceiving, planning on conceiving, or having "the talk" about conceiving with your significant other. I have been baby hungry to the point where I'm angry, sad, anxious, edgy, oddly blissful, and scared. 24/7. It's even so bad that I get hot flashes every now and then and unbearably nauseous. (**Disclaimer: I am NOT pregnant so refrain from offering pregnancy as a possible solution for my feelings in your comments.**)

My madness inducing desire for Nugget #2 is not as uncommon as I thought it may be. The severity is perhaps a little overboard, but the mental desire is common in women after their first born reaches a certain age. The age differs from mother to mother, mine desire happens to be just under the 18-month mark. We'll see what happens.

Still, I haven't cried...yet.

xo,
Jess